Wednesday, October 14, 2009

NOT: Dear Sirs, I am sick...

According to Hillary Johnson, author of 'Osler's Web', the following
'letter' was written by a CDC staffer and was placed on a bulletin
board inside CDC for several years before being taken down due to
unwanted attention from a journalist. It provides a fair amount of
illumination on the Centers for Disease Control's attitude towards CFS
from the very beginning.


(original scanned document located at- http://oslersweb.com/files/Scan0001.pdf )

***************************************************************

October 5, 1986

Center of Diseased Comptrollers
Bldg 6, Rm 127
Atlanta, GA 30333

Dear Sirs:

I am SICK. I saw your ad in the L.A. Times, and need your help. I am
so tired it took me 6 days to dictate this letter to my secretary.
Please send all available information, and I mean ALL, about CEBV,
CMV, HSV, VZV, HPV, HTLV III/LAV/HIV, RSV, HAV, HBV, SV40, G-BS, RSV,
RSVP, DRG's, OMB, FDA, NIH, INH, NIMH, SPBSQSA, ABC's, D&C's, T&A's,
S&M, ASPCA, UCLA, HMO's, AIDS, Ayds, USAID's, IUD's, BCP's, HBP, CHF,
ESRD, USAA, and Japanese Bee Encephalitis, PDQ. Also please send a
complete list of all physician's in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, the
Caribbean, South America, Europe, Africa, Asia (including the Indian
and Southeast Asian subcontinents), Greenland, Antarctica, and the
Marianas Islands who work with the above agents, along with their
addresses, telephone #'s, height, weight, hair and eye color, social
security #, number of living relatives, favorite colors, and how much
they charge (the more expensive, the better).

I would also like a list of recommended treatments for the above
conditions, in descending order of trendiness, including acyclovir,
gamma globulin, WXYZ-2, 3DPG, Vitamins A, B-1 thru 12, C, D, E, F, G,
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, and Q, Zinc, Cadmium, Cobolt, Neodymium,
Ytterbium, lecithin, morithin, lessismorithin, sensory deprivation,
walking on hot coals, alternating sensory deprivation and walking on
hot coals, purified fruit-bat guano injections, and bedrest. I have
already tried Valium, Lithium, Haldol, and thorazine, but they only
work when I take them.

Please, also inform me about how to get social security and workmen's
compensation for the above diseases. I have had them for over 40 years
now, and I am only 29 years old.

Thanks for all your help.

I.M. Zappode

2431 Western Blot

Wornout, CA 98765

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